Friday, December 21, 2012

My Holiday Disposition

Remember "Joe, The Plumber?"  He was the guy in 2008 who claimed to be on the verge of purchasing the plumbing company he worked for, but was afraid that Obama was going to go Don Quixote on small businesses and tax them all into bankruptcy.  It turns out, Joe wasn't a plumber at all and was no closer to buying the company than Lindsay Lohan. But Sarah Palin and John McCain dismissed those misrepresentations as inconvenient immaterial and crowned him the Average-American Icon of their campaign.  We all know how that went.   Joe unsuccessfully ran for the Ohio state legislature last month.  Apparently he has milked the last of his fifteen minutes.
Which brings me to Jay, the Plumber.  Big Jay of Big J Plumbing to be precise (he is an actual plumber).  Before he could get to work on our leaky kitchen sink, I waylaid him with the story of a well-known neurosurgeon who had a dripping faucet in his home which was driving him crazy (bad for his image).  Mrs. Neuro called a plumber who showed up early the next morning, replaced a rubber washer in seconds, and presented the brain-doc with a bill for $150. 

The doc looked at it and said, "I am one of the highest paid neurosurgeons in the world and I can't charge that kind of money for my services."

The plumber responded, "I couldn't charge that kind of money when I was a neurosurgeon, either."

Big Jay smiled knowingly, which made me wonder whether I should have kept that little anecdote to myself.  Like a neurosurgeon, he examined my cracked plastic garbage disposal and determined a transplant was in order.  He excised the broken disposal and replaced it with a steel model which is guaranteed for 8 years and will act as a wood chipper in a pinch.  Unlike a neurosurgeon (or an IRS agent, or a Chase Field concession stand worker), Big Jay presented me with a perfectly reasonable bill.  I'll be able to afford groceries to put down my new disposal. 

Being the friend-of-earth that I am, I asked Big Jay how to dispose of a disposal.  He suggested turning it into a piece of art.  I pondered that, thinking of a possible Christmas gift for my fellow Scottsdale resident, Sarah Palin.  Not sure she would appreciate my asthetics.

I Googled "how to dispose of a disposal" and came across helpful advice like, turn it on and drop it into itself. 

Big Jay solved my dilemma by offering to deliver it to Broken-Plastic-Garbage-Disposal Heaven. 

A plumber and a hero. 


1 comment:

  1. Love the picture. Looks like you're wrestling a man-eating chain saw gift from Sarah Palin. HA!