Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Why Is Willie Mays Wearing a Yankee's Hat?

Today I’m researching the legalities involved in a compilation copyright and in the process made a confusing discovery - which derailed my original mission and ended up with a Willie Mays mystery.

My legal research was spurred by a disclaimer phrase in a book of photos and art depicting smiling faces compiled by my old friend, Cooper Edens.  Flipping thru the book, I paused on a photo of the amazing Willie Mays wearing what appeared to me to be a New York Yankee baseball cap.  I did a Google image search and found several more similar photos - even on baseball cards.

Why, I wondered, is Willie Mays (who never played for the Yankees) sporting a New York Yankees hat on these baseball cards and in my friend’s book? I asked Mean Eileen, Editing Queen who is rather keen on baseball players.  Not particularly the sport, just the players.   She didn't know either - her knowledge of NY baseball is cheerfully limited to the 2001 World Series.  About the time I’m going to call my cousin, Hank Greenwald (the Voice of the SF Giants for 16 years) and Eileen is trying to figure out which Willie Mays Facebook page is the one most likely to respond to such a question, a thought occurs.  
"The Catch" 
Willie Mays hauls in Vic Wertz'
drive at the warning track
in the '54 World Series

Since the Giants moved to California in the 50s, maybe it's an old New York Giants logo.  Wikipedia confirms that the N intersected with the Y was the logo of the newly named NY Giants in 1885 (previously the NY Gothams).  It doesn't really clarify when the Yankees absorbed it, adjusted the font a tiny bit and rebranded it as their own.

Not that any of this matters, but it does remind me that Spring Training games begin in just three weeks - and that it's time to draft a sympathetic-sounding script to recite to my friends in freezing climates while I revel in sunny, 75 degree luxury.

Spring weather in Scottsdale is why we willingly suffer with summer weather in Scottsdale.  Plus we get an extra month of baseball!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

You win this round Trebek ...


Saturday night was the annual Trivia Night at the Jewish Community Center. It’s a fundraiser with a vast variety of items in a Silent Auction, a few in a live auction (some of which are recycled silent auction prizes that didn’t get a bid), a buffet supper and a no-host bar.

In case you’ve never been to a Trivia Night a few trivial words of explanation. It’s sort of a tournament made up of multiple teams, in the case of our Table 19, three players short. By definition, trivial means of little worth or importance.

For instance the first ten questions related to John Wayne. What was his real name? For what movie did he win his only Academy Award? For what college team did he play football, etc. etc.  The questions were read aloud, one at a time, then the table had 30-seconds to send its written answers up to the MC.  Like a 50 yard dash with obstacles.

Participants are allowed and encouraged to brainstorm with teammates to select one answer. The team that answers the most questions is the winner.

Practicing for Trivia Night is virtually impossible. But because of Smart Phones and invisible computers, it has opened a whole new level of cheating. And there were pre-game announcements warning participants to stow their phones and several reports of competetors that were not playing by the rules.  Some folks really take their trivia seriously.

I must admit I did some practice, picking as my subject, Travia (close enough to trivia) with a ta at the end and prefixed with La.

Who wrote La Traviata? I asked myself. Verde, I discovered.  How many acts were there? 3. Who wrote the novel? Alexandre Dumas. What year? 1852. What does La Traviata mean? The Fallen Woman (or The Woman Who Strayed).   Jill Kelley?  Paula Broadwell?  Amelia Earhart? 

I was all set.  I seated myself at our big, round Table 19, cracked my knuckles and waited to impress my table-mates.  And then came the John Wayne questions.  Did you know his name was really Marion Morrison or that the movie that made him famous was Stagecoach (circa 1939)?  I didn't. 

I waited in vain for the Traviata trivia questions. Table 19 didn't win ... we ended up some where in the middle of the pack of about 24 tables. I did learn such non-useful things as Doc Holliday was a dentist, and that the Munsters lived at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

My psychiatrist, Dr. Fraud, says I can’t relate to Trivia because my mind is filled with big, consequential, eventful, important, major, material, meaningful, momentous, significant, substantial, un-frivolous, weighty information.   Like his fee.




A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

I didn't pen this little story ... even if I'd been so inclined to start cussing at 4 or 6, I had more smarts than to do a test run on my mother.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Awwwwwwwww! It's Not Fair! Inflation Got Two Buck Chuck (or as it's now known; Upchuck)

The Fiscal Cliff, Lance "how dare you accuse me" Armstrong, Te'o's Girlfriend (who hails from the same gene pool as Harvey the Rabbit), the Hillary Hearings and Lipsyncgate - at last America has something of real substance to whine about. I'm not sure exactly what that substance might be, but it fermented in the bathtub along with whatever else goes into Charles Shaw shiraz, cabernet, et al, more commonly known as Two Buck Chuck (sold at Trader Joe's for $1.99).

I've heard the price had previously been increased as high as $3.79 (in states not named California). The Bronco Wine Company (yee-haw!) bought the Charles Shaw label from a now-defunct winery. Not open to the public, the Bronco winery (not open to the public) says it was able to keep the price so low because it owns 45,000 acres of vineyard, which insulated it from large fluctuations in grape prices. But bad crops in the last couple years impacted the price (although the taste, unlike the price, doesn't reflect a 24% increase).

Obviously the Two Buck Chuck moniker won't work anymore, and Two-and-a-half-Buck Chuck just doesn't roll off the tongue in the same way.

I've personally named countless products and services for which I've been paid insignificant sums. You don't just pull some name like Apple or Amazon out of the air. Oh wait, maybe you do. GoDaddy wasn't supposed to be GoDaddy ... it was a temporary name until they came up with something better.

I've got a new(ish) nickname for Two Buck Chuck ... and a jingle too!

Want some wine that's really fine?
The new low price ... two forty nine!
The place to go is Trader Joes
Taste the wine
Do the math
There's no better wine than
The Grapes of Wrath

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Francis Scott Key's Observations on the Inauguration - Lip Synched by David F. Stern

Did those who attended the 57th Presidential Inauguration make the journey to witness an event of historic political importance?  Of course not.  They came to hear a brilliant anthem performed by a beautiful woman with a beautiful voice.  The rest of the day was just fluff.

Does it matter whether she stood there looking gorgeous and mouthed the words?  Certainly not to me.  Would I have preferred to hear tv "news" anchors yammer for days about how the band was poorly rehearsed and that Beyonce's cold really made her voice raspy?  Nay.

Whether "live" or not, the performance was moving and appropriate for the occasion.  This was not a Milli Vanilli moment - with everything going on in the world that desperately needs attention, it's incredible that this is getting so much press.

Would these lips sync?

In fairness, I sync the key to this “slow news day” Inauguration postamble is Francis Scott Key, the Maryland lawyer who wrote our National Anthem. What would Key sync? I texted him and got the following response. The General Laws of the State of Massachusetts, Section 9 sync for themselves and would most certainly apply here.

“Whoever plays, sings or renders the “Star Spangled Banner” in any public place, theatre, motion picture hall, restaurant or cafĂ©, or at any public entertainment, other than as a whole and separate composition or number, without embellishment or addition in the way of national or other melodies, or whoever plays, sings or renders the “Star Spangled Banner”, or any part thereof, as dance music, as an exit march or as a part of a medley of any kind, shall be punished by a fine of not more than one hundred dollars.”

I sync this is enuff on Beyonce-gate.


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

When in Doubt, Ask the Kid

Friday's are Bubba Days.  On Bubba Day, I retrieve my granddaughter, Izzy, at kindergarten and we do something together, just the two of us.  During the Bubba Friday "preseason" we'd go to places like the public library, maybe a movie or the kid's museum.  Then Izzy, who is nothing if not an intense negotiator, suggested Peter Piper Pizza, which should be Pay The Piper.  A lot.  Foregoing a cheesy pie for a romp thru the seizure-inducing arcade, she managed to shove $20 into various amusement devices, "won" 200 tickets, then traded them in for a couple of 99-cent store clearance items. 
I subsequently appointed myself dictator of event choices and put Izzy on the non-voting Ad-Hoc committee.  For the most part, we went back to the library, and to the various craft project products that abundantly materialize in little girls' worlds. 
Occasionally, we have ventured out for some entertainment, which can be a scary thing in North Scottsdale.  We went to see a movie, The Odd Life of Timothy Green, and found it playing at a new theatre near us called IPIC in the Scottsdale Quarter.  The nice lady at the concierge desk told us the ticket price was $25 each.  She was obviously quite familiar with the disbelieving, dropped-jaw stare and quickly added that we could buy a membership which would entitle us to a couch, pillows, blankets and free popcorn.  We could also order food from a menu.  We beat a hasty retreat and headed for a normal theatre where the tickets were less unreasonable and the popcorn price was more so. 
I recently acquiesed to Ruth's suggestion that Izzy and I join her dear friend Sydney and Sydney's lovely grandmother, Estelle, at an artsy/craftsy place called Make Meaning.  Located in the Scottsdale Quarter, mere steps away from the IPIC.  A shiver ran down my spine and I protectively grabbed my wallet.  Ruth had two passes that waived the studio fee of $12.50 each (you have to pay this, whether or not you are Making Meaning), so a couple Friday's ago, I picked up Izzy from school and headed to the Scottsdale Quarter.  Parking on the street, when you can find it, is time-limited, so I parked in the garage.  As we got out of the car, I told Izzy to grab her jacket - she said she didn't want to and I didn't feel like arguing.  However, once out of the car Izzy discovered it was very chilly and reached back in to get the coat ... just as I was closing the door.  I realized it at the last second and pulled back as the door grazed her hand.  She was ok, but it rattled me and I was upset as we hurried off (Make Meaning requires a reservation). 
Once inside we connected with our amigas and the two wide eyed little ones started scoping out all the wonderful meaning-making opportunities (i.e., cake decorating, painting ceramics, soap making, candle design, etc.).   As much as I tried via warm and fuzzy interrogation of the "ACEs" (Associate Creativity Enthusiasts), I could not get a straight answer on how much a glass necklace and a ceramic mug were going to set me back.  Estelle and I limited Izzy and Sydney to two activities and I decided to go back to the car for the brochure which had discount coupons.
I didn't find the coupons because I couldn't find the car.   I was so distracted by nearly slamming Izzy's hand in the car door when we arrived, that I hadn't paid attention to where we were.  I got my daily exercise touring several floors of the garage and finally encountered a valet who suggested I ask the person I came with.  I mentioned my companion was a five-year-old, and we continued the search.  Eventually, we wandered into level/section B-1 and came across some handicapped spaces that seemed familiar.  I pressed my unlock button on my keyring and the lights of my car flashed.  Whew!  I asked the valet if he encountered a lot of nuts like me with missing cars.
I thanked him anyway.  I looked in the car for the brochure, but didn't see it.  I gave up and returned to the store, where Izzy was very close to finishing her meaning-making.  The brochure I had gone in search of was on the table where I put it when we arrived.  Thanks to the passes, coupons and a couple of Groupons that Estelle had, the bill ended up at a perfectly reasonable $8. 
Relieved, I took Izzy by the hand and headed back to the garage.  I told her the reason I had been gone so long was that I'd forgotten where I'd parked the car and had to search for it.
She said, "Bubba, it's on B-1."

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The FLU-g ...WHO's in Charge

January 3 President Obama signed the American Taxpayer Relief Act, better known as the "fiscal cliff" legislation. There seems to be a difference of opinion as to whether or not we went over the Cliff. I jumped off December 31 and landed in a little paradise called Fiscal Cliff, AZ. 

On January 10 I made a bad mistake. I turned on the Today Show and watched
 Savannah Guthrie, Al Roker, Natalie Morales and Carl Quintanilla get their flu shots. Breaking News was Outbreaking News. And why wouldn’t those people we wake up with every morning and get advice from have waited until January 10 to get their Flu Shots. WHO do they thing they are? Or maybe they think they’re WHO.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta, is trusted by WHO the Emmy®-award winning chief medical correspondent for the Health, Medical & Wellness unit at CNN, who (or rather whom) I believe, says it takes about two weeks for the influenza vaccine to become effective and it’s only 60% effective. That must mean that four out of ten people who rushed out to get the shot got the shaft. 

Apparently Facebook has a new app, the Flu app. This is what the Net says: Facebook has developed a new app that lets you find out who could have given you the flu. It uses keywords, like "sick," "ill," or any other flu-related phrases in your friends' posts to generate a list of possible culprits.(Be careful if you go to Facebook to get the rest of the story. Your computer may get a Virus. At the very least we might learn who the ineffective 40% are so we can give them special attention.
I imagine someone is working on an app that will enable you to get even with the person who gave you the flu.  And another app to send apologetic e-bouquets when you figure out they weren't responsible at all - it was your little incubators darling grandchildren.

The good news according to the good Dr. Gupta is you can’t get the Flu from the shot.

More good news.Congress is not in charge of the new Pandemic. Bad news: Vice President Biden is too busy with guns and cliffs to head the new US Commission on WHO and the FLU. But not to worry, even though you have a better chance of dying from the new Flu than winning the Lottery. The so-called “potential” is 50,000 deaths in the USA.

WHO is the top decision-making body at the World Health Organization, which has been in business for 63 years.

WHO ran a $300-million deficit in 2010.

WHO hasn’t been too effective with FLU. Looks like WHO needs a shot in the arm. Here’s the record. But remember WHO got the job in 1950.

Flu pandemics since records have been kept:

Name of pandemic



Subtype involved


1 million

possibly H2N2


50 million


1.5 to 2 million



1 million



no accurate count



over 18,209

Remembering well how I stood in line in 2009 at Costco for two hours to get a flu shot to ward off the Swine Flu. There was a vaccine shortage and Costco, in its inimitable style had it. Margaret and I met a lot of very nice fellow members standing in the sun in the cue.

I remembered the name of the company that produced the tainted vaccine that had to be dumped, causing the shortage. I checked to see if Baxter International was still in business and found the following:

WHO Gives Baxter Swine Flu Vaccine Contract!

Baxter International Vaccines Tainted With Avian Flu Virus A Plot To Start A Pandemic?


I was sick and tired of Flu news and turned off the TV. Then I sat down at my computer to write this FLUG and turned on CNN. This is what I learned from Breakout News on America’s #1 News Source:

1. The spread of the flu seems to be subsiding. 

2. 113 million Americans have been vaccinated.

3. California, Hawaii and Mississippi haven’t yet been hit. 

4. There is enough influenza vaccine available. You just have to find it.

5. Don’t call WHO. Just click on

6. Two major transmitters of the FLU are doorknobs and computer keyboards.

Before I finished reading that sentence, I fled my keyboard, washed my hands, drank a whole lot of water and went to bed. It was 11:30 AM.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

The F Word

Thank God it’s the New Year and Congress has turned over a new leaf. Last week, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid took the floor and accused Speaker of the House John Boehner of being a dictator”. Later that day, in the hall outside the Oval Office, the two lawmakers met gain. According to multiple sources, the speaker pointed his finger at the senator and said, Go f*** yourself.” Reid asked him what he was talking about, and Boehner just said it again and walked away.

There are only twelve times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use ... they are as follows:

12. "What the F#$% do you mean we are sinking?"
- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912

11. "What the F#$% was that?"
- Mayor Of Hiroshima,1945

10. "Where did all those F#$%ing Indians come from?"
- Custer, 1877

9. "Any F#$%ing idiot could understand that."
- Einstein, 1938

8. "It does so F#$%ing look like her!"
- Picasso, 1926

7. "How the F#$% did you work that out?"
- Pythagoras, 126 BC

6. "You want WHAT on the F#$%ing ceiling?"
- Michelangelo, 1566

5. "Where the F#$% are we?"
- Amelia Earhart, 1937

4. "Scattered F#$%ing showers....My ass!"
- Noah, 4314 BC

3. "Aw c'mon. Who the F#$% is going to find out?"
-Bill Clinton, 1999
2."Geez, I didn't think they'd get this F%#*ing mad."
- Saddam Hussein, 2004

1. Apparently, when the Speaker of the House talks to the Majority Leader of the Senate outside the Evil Office.

My 2013 Year in Review - In Advance

My Version of "I Dreamed A Dream"       


I woke up January 1, 2013 and found myself on the ground in a mysterious paradise, maybe the Garden of Eden. The last thing I could remember was watching the ball fall in Times Square at 9 PM Mountain Standard Time, followed by shocking but obvious breaking news. The greatest country in the world was going over the Fiscal Cliff which I had learned from Ben Bernanke last July was in the Grand Canyon in Arizona. I thanked Ben and promised to keep it to myself. I had camped out for the first time in 50 years near the top of the FC.

Never having used my Golden Parachute which I put away in 1989 in the event I would ever need it, I followed the directions on a private website carefully, put it on, jumped off the Fiscal Cliff, counted to ten and pulled the rip chord.  I landed softly in the most magnificent garden I had ever seen. The lights went on in a home nearby and a man came running to see if I was okay. He introduced himself as Cliff Dweller. I apologized for waking him. He said “no problem, we were just drinking and talking about the remarkable life we’ve lived here before we all move out tomorrow.” He said they had expected me and thousands of taxpaying Americans to come over the cliff and invade there tranquil secret paradise.

There was no government in Fiscal Cliff, no taxes, no traffic, no guns, no cell phones, no computers, no stress, no problems. But the residents had all agreed to leave together rather than live like Americans. They were abandoning their magnificent homes and since I was first to arrive Dweller would be happy to turn over to me the title to his palace, complete with a virgin goldmine, titanium mine and oil field. I asked if he had a value on his properties. He looked at his watch and said “it’s sixteen trillion and change as we speak.” And he produced what he said will be the winning number in the world’s first trillion dollar lottery which will take place in Dubai in February. He assured me that I would be the only winner. (I planned to resign from the A A of P (American Association of Procrastinators, but I decided to leave that for February).


I won the Lottery, which I thought was enough to live on comfortably in Fiscal Cliff and sent Barack my check in the amount of $17 trillion to pay off the debt with his promise that I would remain anonymous, and would be considered a posthumous American and removed from all records, including those of the Internal Revenue Service.   February was such a short month, I just couldn't find the time to resign from the AA of P.


Due to my secret influence, Congress was shut down for five years, the laws were suspended and the Commission on  a new and improved America began immediately on the extreme makeover. I still didn’t get around to resigning from the A A of P (American Association of Procrastinators).


Due to my tax deductible contribution of $17 trillion and the demise of Congress, President Obama announced that there would be “No Old Taxes” in 2013.

On April 13th  , I secretly attended the BLOOP event in Iowa City, IA. I became interested in this organization because one of my heroes, Mark Twain, from whom I borrowed the pseudonym, Samuel Clements, is Patron Saint of the group. The group has two mottoes: In front of every silver lining there is a dark cloud and the other line always moves faster.

BLOOP is a tongue-in-cheek organization of pessimists, founded in 1975 to counteract the insidious spread of optimist’s clubs. It publishes the semiannual BLOOP Newsletter and convenes annually on the Saturday closest to the April 15 IRS tax-filing deadline and the sinking of the Titanic. According to the Royal Order, the date is “always tentative to allow for missed plane connections and other natural disasters.” The “lowlight” of the evening is the awarding of a trophy resembling the shape of a horse’s rear end to the Pessimist of the Year. I couldn’t think of a better time to go. I was informed, “Hey, why bother to join. We’re all going to die anyway.” I resigned from the A A of P (American Association of Procrastinators).  Hah!  April Fools!


I attended two very important Birthday parties. April 18 was the one year old birthday of Kazuki Lynn Stern, my super sweet grandson who was the great gift of 2012 and two days later, Izzy Thu Thi Stern, my beautiful, smart granddaughter who turned 6.  Alien space crafts hovering above our home distracted me from resigning from the A A of P (American Association of Procrastinators).


The FLOG got picked up for sindication by Murdock. I found myself on the cover of the National Enquirer in a photograph depicting me and Kanye West in a fist-fight over paternity of Kim Kardashian's baby.  I've never met Kim (or Kanye) so I assume this all had something to do with those alien space crafts.  The American Association of Procrastinators sent me an email.  It was a 2011 Thanksgiving greeting.
Curiously, this was the month that retailers decided to really get a jump on winter holiday sales and declared June 28th the new Black Friday.  It worked out well for the A A of P members who were just about ready to shop for last December's festivities.


Forget about the 4th of July. I’m glad I remembered July 2.

It’s I Forgot Day. Really. Only nobody ever remembers I Forgot Day. So, just what are you forgetting? Can you even remember? Some days are days to remember and to cherish all of our lives. Others, like July 2 are ones to be forgotten. If you are having a bad day, it's just as well that 7/02 is I Forgot Day. Some people view this day as an opportunity to express their regrets for forgetting something, and to make amends. They do so by sending cards and flowers, apologizing for their memory lapse. The trouble is, if you forget something important tomorrow, you have to wait a whole year for the next I Forgot Day to arrive. 
I forgot to resign from the A A of P (American Association of Procrastinators)

I Forgot Day is closely related to I'm Sorry Day. I’m sorry I forgot. I think it was May 26. It was in 2011.


MY UNAUTHORIZED AUTOBIOGRAPHY by the FACE FORMERLY KNOWN AS HAPPY has finally been published. HF began outlining the book under a different title in 1989 after which it (The Happy Face) became the subject of, although not involved in, a lawsuit brought by Smiley Licensing Corp. against WalMart. WalMart countered by making application to the United States Patent and Trademark Office for ownership of The Happy Face trademark. On the advice of its attorney, HF decided to put its autobiography on the back burner awaiting what could be an eternity in the courts. After the US PTO said no to both parties, it went to a Federal Appellate Court in Chicago which took two years to decide in 2011 to leave the Happy Face in the Public’s Domain. During all of those years so many things happened in the “life” of The Happy Face that it virtually started over, deleting, updating or adding to many of the 2,558 pages on its computer, which included four manuscripts of varying lengths.
I was prepared to submit my resignation from the A A of P, but Mean Eileen pointed out that I shouldn't until I was certain they all had purchased a copy of my book (she sent a copy out to their entire email base eight months ago).

Following the fight that broke out over at the National Rifle Association Convention in Montana that left thousands bruised and bloodied (they were wielding tree branches with spiky knots), President Obama signed an ordinance outlawing trees.  Which left me too busy capitalizing on Trees Don't Beat People, The NRA Beats People bumper stickers to attempt to resign from anything. 

Thursday, October 31 was named an official holiday in America and expanded to include Friday, November 1; Saturday, November 2 and Sunday, November 3. As part of the new Antiobesity laws called for by First Lady Michelle Obama, only healthy, low calorie, sugar-free vegetables will be handed out to children.  For the first time, rafts are being built to take people to Cuba.   I was going to submit my resignation from the A A of P, but I couldn't leave the table until I finished my broccoli.  Like that was gonna happen.

The new Federal Election Commission Law, passed just before the FEC was dissolved the same date Congress was put on the back burner for five years, had its first test. Called “UP or DOWN”, it was tested to determine whether American citizens wanted to give President Obama another year as their leader. Obama got 64% UP. The law stipulated that no campaigning or money could be spent on the UP or DOWN vote, which attracted 96% of registered voters. Florida was not included for obvious reasons. 
Despite the abundance of side-dishes made from leftover Halloween vegetables, I enjoyed a fabulous Turkey-day Dinner.  Afterward, I went to my desk, did not turn on the TV or radio, and resolutely began drafting my resignation to the A A of P.   I was so comfortably full, I just had to lay my head down...just for a minute...
When I awoke, my neck and back were so stiff all I could do for the next week was go to the chiropractor and then lay on the couch and monitor football games.


The Committee to Revive American Politics (or CRAP as it's known by taxpayers) held its first meeting and established a six-month schedule to put the new form of Government to a vote. The party system will be abolished.  Something else incredibly exciting, phenomenal and wonderful happened but I'll write about it later.... you know, after I get my resignation from the American Association of Procras....