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| just ask Edward Snowden |
Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro, in a blatant but
effective abuse of power, declared November
1st as the arrival of “Early
Christmas” in Venezuela, “because we
want happiness for all people.”
I am a people.
Sometimes I’m a whole crowd (or so I’ve been told). Having
an Early Christmas doesn’t really hold any thrill for me, even if I weren’t
Jewish. It just means I have to listen
to countless renditions of Frosty the Snowman and Santa Baby for an additional
month.
It has been officially decreed that Early Christmas
brings Early Christmas Bonuses (paid by the government?) on December 1st.
The timing of this is not suspicious – it’s
glaringly obvious. December 8th
is election day in Venezuela and Maduro, who took over after the death of Hugo
Chavez last March, is the buck-stops-here guy for a country with problems that
make the Healthcare.gov roll-out seem like the most brilliant success ever.
Maduro has even designated a Deputy Ministry of Supreme
Social Happiness. I wonder if there will
be a tax credit if you attest you and the members of your household are
happy. I wonder if there will be a fine
if you are not happy. I wonder, in a
country where there are food and toilet paper shortages, what the fine might
be.
He
knows if you’ve been happy or sad, so be happy for … um …
Well, suffice it to say you should just be happy.
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