Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A Toothsome Dish?

The Tooth Fairy?  More like Santa Clause :(

My grand granddaughter, Izzy Stern lost another tooth last night. Second one. Lower row two teeth left of center.  She’s got 30 left, although the wisdom teeth won't pop out for a few more years.

In 1987 I wrote a little book called IS IT TOO LATE FOR THE TOOTH FAIRY? using the pseudonym, Orally Safer, a 60-MINUTE interview with periodontists, Jerome Jerome and Ed Sturdivant.  I know what I’m talking about when it comes to teeth and fairies. 

Back to the subject at hand.  How much does The Tooth Fairy leave in 2013 for a six year old tooth?  This isn’t something you just pull out of your mouth, so I did a bit of research.

Tooth Fairy survey: $3 goes under the pillow
By Oliver St. John, USA TODAY
Updated 9/4/2012 8:12 AM
$3 per tooth under their pillows was up 15% over 2011, according to a survey from Visa. Some received as much as $20 per tooth. "It's a good time to be a kid with a loose tooth," Jason Alderman, Visa's senior director of global financial education said. 

It’s a good thing Jason doesn’t have to argue with Izzy. This is something she could really sink her remaining teeth into.  

The Tooth Fairy is not to be taken lightly. Patricia Kirwin, a psychologist in Columbus, Ohio said in the Visa article that “Excessive monetary rewards can distort a child's perception of money. I believe that it not only can be adverse to learning the values of things, but it can also be adverse to learning you earned things." 

Excessive monetary rewards runs in my family.

Izzy has exceptional teeth. I’d think they are worth $20 each today. Considering inflation and the current Sequester, which is going to have to be made up in the future, I doubt she would swing for $20 per tooth. Let’s say we settle on $30. $30 X 30 teeth = $900. 

Too steep for this stand-in.   I put on my fairy wings, composed the following note and tucked it securely under her pillow.

My Dear Izzy Stern,

I was informed early this morning by your grandfather, Bubba, that you have lost another tooth. This is your tooth #2 on the bottom row front and almost center of your mouth.

Bubba has talked to me several times, asking if it was time yet to pull the tooth out. I kept telling him to give it a few more days. I guess I was right. Because it fell out all by itself in the car and I got an immediate call on the lost tooth hotline (800-BIG-GAPS).

Last night when you were fast asleep I came to your house to pick up your tooth and leave you a little something. 
Bubba told me you are going on vacation and asked if I could leave some cash so you can spend it on your trip. He said you might share it with Kaz. I sure hope so. Kaz has two teeth that I know of, but he probably needs those (so don't get any ideas)

Anyway, I am leaving you $3.60, which is a 20% increase over the going rate in 2012. 

Brush your teeth, 

The Tooth Fairy

Izzy woke me at 1am today, complaining that the Tooth Fairy cheaped-out.

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