Sunday, January 27, 2013

Awwwwwwwww! It's Not Fair! Inflation Got Two Buck Chuck (or as it's now known; Upchuck)

The Fiscal Cliff, Lance "how dare you accuse me" Armstrong, Te'o's Girlfriend (who hails from the same gene pool as Harvey the Rabbit), the Hillary Hearings and Lipsyncgate - at last America has something of real substance to whine about. I'm not sure exactly what that substance might be, but it fermented in the bathtub along with whatever else goes into Charles Shaw shiraz, cabernet, et al, more commonly known as Two Buck Chuck (sold at Trader Joe's for $1.99).

I've heard the price had previously been increased as high as $3.79 (in states not named California). The Bronco Wine Company (yee-haw!) bought the Charles Shaw label from a now-defunct winery. Not open to the public, the Bronco winery (not open to the public) says it was able to keep the price so low because it owns 45,000 acres of vineyard, which insulated it from large fluctuations in grape prices. But bad crops in the last couple years impacted the price (although the taste, unlike the price, doesn't reflect a 24% increase).

Obviously the Two Buck Chuck moniker won't work anymore, and Two-and-a-half-Buck Chuck just doesn't roll off the tongue in the same way.

I've personally named countless products and services for which I've been paid insignificant sums. You don't just pull some name like Apple or Amazon out of the air. Oh wait, maybe you do. GoDaddy wasn't supposed to be GoDaddy ... it was a temporary name until they came up with something better.

I've got a new(ish) nickname for Two Buck Chuck ... and a jingle too!

Want some wine that's really fine?
The new low price ... two forty nine!
The place to go is Trader Joes
Taste the wine
Do the math
There's no better wine than
The Grapes of Wrath

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